Opportunity/Threat

10 Nov

Posted at 10:21h in Love, Opportunity/Threat by

(I did not write this and I don't know who did. But I love it's message. Let's not judge, ourselves or others. We're all in this together. To end these vicious cycles, let's point the finger inward and with love. See Penn State (part 1) here.) The good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others, are your faults as well. After all, to recognize something you must know it. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you, is your beauty. The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing...

04 Nov

Posted at 16:30h in Cognitive-behavioral, Glimpse into Me, Opportunity/Threat by

Crisis! A cell phone conundrum: incoming text messages seem to be “broken.” Very few replies to my messages. “No one loves me,” becomes my belief system. I  default into threat mode and my confirmation bias goes into full force. It takes very little for the world to prove what we believe. Have you heard the Pygmalion effect research? Teachers were told: these kids are the top performers to a group that was randomly assigned (mixed ability). That group out-performed the control by nearly 3 times, who were also randomly assigned. I believe that what we expect we experience. I expect that people love...

03 Nov

Posted at 22:18h in Glimpse into Me, Opportunity/Threat, Relationships by

“There’s no one I can be more myself around than you, Louis.” Heard this twice this week – from two dear friends in separate moments – and am feeling so joyful to think that this is true. I’m honored, really, to be that in someone’s life. I’m working on letting that kind of love in, too, because really I believe transparency leads to transformation and truth, moments of growth and learning. Interestingly, though, the invitation to truly be seen and vulnerable sometimes sends me into complete threat mode, where my fight or flight response takes over. Typically, I find myself fleeing. That...

14 Oct

Posted at 15:35h in Action Research, Opportunity/Threat, Positive Psychology, Thoughts-Action, Workshop by

Last Tuesday evening I gave a talk at NYU Langone Medical Center for Faces: a nonprofit center to improve lives of people affected by seizures and epilepsy. The program last week, Caring for the Caretaker, attracted 200 people, many of whom were parents of children with epilepsy, and some were patients themselves. What happened though was quite unlike anything I’ve experienced before as a facilitator: resistance writ large across a crowd of folks up against real stinkin’ conditions. “Who will pay the medical bills?” “Will he ever be able to ever live alone?” “I never know if my son’s next seizure will...

14 Aug

Posted at 09:28h in Cognitive-behavioral, gratitude, Mindfulness, Opportunity/Threat, Uncategorized by

I'm feeling a whole slew of "threat" response surfacing lately -- fear, anxiety, scarcity. Even with all of this knowledge of positive psychology (that thoughts lead to feelings), I still find myself caught in this whirlwind of frustration. What are the beliefs underscoring (or overwhelming!) my feeling this way? Spending a week as a seminar participants in Jack Canfield's Breakthrough to Success program has been way eye-opening for me. I know I am not showing up to play full out. I feel myself on the fringes and I don't like it here. Why is it happening? There are many variables: I didn't necessarily...

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